When Domestic Abuse Hits Home

 Being an advocate for many years of domestic abuse I was sure my daughters and sons alike would never become victim. AS a mother, a family member or a friend the last thing you ever want to imagine is that someone could hurt someone you love so much. Yet it happens. It happens everyday! It doesn't matter if your rich or poor or what ethnic background you have. Amazingly enough Ive had to sit back knowing something was not quite right for the past month. Doing this can rip apart at your ever last sense and completely empower you. Taking away and ripping at every last sense of security and dignity one has. I sat, I watched and I tried to step back and pray that I was wrong. I called a county social worker, I talked to family, I talked to family and friends. It seemed I was the only one seeing the true devastating signs. I know I'm the overbearing mother who cant let her baby go... Do you realize how hard it is to be on the outside looking in when everyone else sees you as this overbearing mother?

Then a few days ago, call it a sign but my brother posted a link on domestic abuse. Again, I get this gut wrenching feeling that this is yet another sign to keep my eyes open. I felt almost as it was a sign from God saying don't turn your back just as I'm about to let go. Maybe I am overbearing?

I start getting random phone calls and requests to babysit. I know deep down something is wrong. Today the call comes. Thank God sooner then later. My child has been punched, choked and is emotionally distressed. Worse yet my grand baby fell victim last night. I do what I know best. I drop what I'm doing, run to the rescue and call the police. Yes, they are safe. Not before a confrontation and many more abusive remarks which were directed not only at my daughter but her friends and family. How I ever managed to keep in control is beyond me to be honest. After several pictures, reports and a couple hours with police we are trying to make sense of a devastating event. As we all pick up the pieces I want to share the warning signs and link from Everyday Health my brother posted just a couple days ago. Thank you Kipp for posting this when you didn't even know there was an issue.

Domestic abuse pulls families apart every day. If you are a victim please get help. If you know of a victim please let them know you are there for them. Know the warning signs! Promises the abuse will stop are just that. They rarely do.

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is abuse that happens in a personal relationship. It can happen between past or current partners, spouses, or boyfriends and girlfriends.
Domestic violence affects men and women of any ethnic group, race, or religion; gay or straight; rich or poor; teen, adult, or elderly. But most of its victims are women. In fact, 1 out of 4 women will be a victim at some point.¹
The abuser may use fear, bullying, and threats to gain power and control over the other person. He or she may act jealous, controlling, or possessive. These early signs of abuse may happen soon after the start of the relationship and might be hard to notice at first.
After the relationship becomes more serious, the abuse may get worse.

• The abuser may begin making threats, calling the other person names, and slamming doors or breaking dishes. This is a form of emotional abuse that is sometimes used to make the person feel bad or weak.
• Physical abuse that starts with a slap might lead to kicking, shoving, and choking over time.²
• As a way to control the person, the abuser may make violent threats against the person’s children, other family members, or pets.
• Abusers may also control or withhold money to make the person feel weak and dependent. This is called financial abuse.
• Domestic violence also includes sexual abuse, such as forcing a person to have sex against her will.

Money troubles and problems with drugs or alcohol can make it more likely that abuse will happen.
Abuse is also common in teens who are dating. It often happens through controlling behaviors and jealousy.

<a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/health-center/domestic-violence.aspx">Symptoms of  Domestic Violence - What is domestic violence? What should you do if you're being abused? What should you do if you know someone who is being abused? Why do victims stay? - Children's Health</a>