Saturday, December 6, 2014

Who are we really?

Have you ever questioned who you were or where you came from? For most people the answer is yes. But for someone who is adopted or who never knew a parent or even confirmed who their parent is, that can bring on an entire different meaning. At 26 years old, I would learn that I had no idea who my birth father was.Upon this discovery, I was quite excited to learn that I actually had brothers and sisters. Growing up an only child, this really excited me. However, in the years to come I've realized I'm more alone now than if Id of never known at all.  While my siblings call me their sister I will never have that bond they do. I wasn't raised with them. I don't know their stories and they don't know mine.  I don't  know the who  half of my relatives are and what hurts the most is knowing I never will. Never will I be looked at like an aunt, a sister-in-law or that bond that I always wanted. Most  days I feel like I'm the outcast that everyone is faced with and now must accept. Half of whom have never tried to get to know me or  my family. And yet I am blessed for those few who do.

When I was caring for my mom I had no siblings to help. No real support. In a world that was very much alone it would have been nice to have family by my side. When I then lost my Mom it was the hardest time in my life. I had no one call or even send me a message. A simple are you ok?
At graduation there was no congratulations, no one in attendance in my big moment in life. It makes me feel unimportant and inadequate.

It made me question. Is this how all adoptees feel? Is there ever a point you can just let go of where you came from and treasure the moments you do have instead? Do you just accept the things you may never know?

I am grateful for my Dad who adopted me at 13 years old. We share a bond that no one can ever replace. He is the man who has raised me and guided me to be the person I am today. I believe family is anyone you chose to call family. But deep inside do we all still need closure in knowing what our heritage is? Is this something others face as well?


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