My name is mom. I am caring,loving,demanding and even bitchy at times. But God created you just for me. I will always have your best interest at heart.
It took me a long time to see it but I realize now that children cannot learn from your mistakes. They need the freedom to learn from their own. As painful as that may be for me to watch, I'm learning to keep quiet.
Let me tell you the hardest thing to do is watch your children make there own decisions, knowing sometimes they are wrong. Ive come to the conclusion however, that I raised them to be loving and responsible adults. We all make mistakes and they have the right to make theirs as well. I stand beside my family and they know I am always here. There are two things we should give our children: roots to give them strength and wings to help them fly.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Ive been nominated for an award
I was recently nominated for an award. I wanted to share the article with you. Whether or not anything comes of it I feel honored.
I nominate TL a troop leader for Daisey Scouts.
Because of her involvement with friends, family and her community she has changed the lives of many people. She is a role model to the younger generation and a mentor to many.
Tammi attended college at RCC pursuing a degree in Human Services. She was inducted into Phi Thetta Kappa national honor fraternity. She later obtained a certificate as a nursing assistant through Brainerd Lakes.
Tammi was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2003, but that doesn't seem to slow her down much.
Working in real estate as a secretary, she was laid off the same day her daughter laid in critical condition after being hit by a car as a pedestrian. Her daughter suffered traumatic brain injury and while everyone else seemed to believe there was little help, Tammi stayed by her side 24/7 for 3 years spending hours upon hours rushing from one doctor to another. Her persistence paid off when her daughter graduated just this year.
Once her daughter was stable, she again returned to work. Just 2 weeks later she received yet another devastating blow. Her mother was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She immediately left her job to stay home and care for her mother.
Despite an already busy life and mother to 5, Tammi is very easy going and willing to do anything to help someone in need. She believes someone always has it worse and she tries to look at the upside of things and find the positive in everything and everyone.
Tammi supports a number of organizations and causes. Some of them I am aware of are teen moms, prison re-entry project, the epilepsy foundation, traumatic brain injury association, multiple sclerosis awareness, ARC, Birthline, and Anna Maries- victims of domestic abuse.
She has been a child foster care provider since 1997 and recognized in 2001. She did home daycare for numerous years specializing in special needs working with developmentally challenged children.
Volunteer work includes being girl scout volunteer, a past boyscout achievement coordinator as well as assistant leader. She's taken in numerous people in need as well. Both children and adults are always welcomed.
She also volunteers with toys for tots, caritas clothing volunteer, suicide prevention, and she's even helped 3 girls get their bronze and silver girl scout awards and traveled to NYC with 200 girls!!
To relieve stress, Tammi and her family go camping nearly every weekend where her and her husband dj all of the dances. They have a seasonal site and have been there for 15 years. She enjoys the outdoors and all it offers. She goes hunting and fishing and just spending time with family and friends.
Because of her busy lifestyle she tries to remain flexible. She almost always has a back up plan. She's well prepared and well organized. She tends to look at the bigger picture and tries to make it all work.
Tammi's beliefs in god give her strength to encourage not only her children but those she mentors. She encourages everyone to do their best and not take the short cuts. She empowers them to be friendly, helpful and strong. She says to trust in God, work hard, and appreciate life like its your last day. She enjoys making the difference in someones life. She's the kind of person who will look at you with tears in her eyes and ask how she can help you.
She has a multitude of experience dealing with children with physical, sexual and emotional abuse. She also has experience with chemical dependency, developmental disabilities and language delays.
Tammi and her husband adopted their oldest grandchild nearly 5 years ago. Now 6 years old, Tammi looks forward to being her troop leader in Daisys.
Tammi was brought up with Norwegian and Swedish cooking, Lutheran, and family ties with a strong belief. She feels there are no barriers in her family that prevent her her from helping someone in need. Culture, race, religion, she feels everyone has experienced some kind of cultural conflict. Diversity is all around and people have different beliefs.
She feels everyone needs to keep working on bridging the culture gap and being more tolerant of others.
I nominate TL a troop leader for Daisey Scouts.
Because of her involvement with friends, family and her community she has changed the lives of many people. She is a role model to the younger generation and a mentor to many.
Tammi attended college at RCC pursuing a degree in Human Services. She was inducted into Phi Thetta Kappa national honor fraternity. She later obtained a certificate as a nursing assistant through Brainerd Lakes.
Tammi was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2003, but that doesn't seem to slow her down much.
Working in real estate as a secretary, she was laid off the same day her daughter laid in critical condition after being hit by a car as a pedestrian. Her daughter suffered traumatic brain injury and while everyone else seemed to believe there was little help, Tammi stayed by her side 24/7 for 3 years spending hours upon hours rushing from one doctor to another. Her persistence paid off when her daughter graduated just this year.
Once her daughter was stable, she again returned to work. Just 2 weeks later she received yet another devastating blow. Her mother was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She immediately left her job to stay home and care for her mother.
Despite an already busy life and mother to 5, Tammi is very easy going and willing to do anything to help someone in need. She believes someone always has it worse and she tries to look at the upside of things and find the positive in everything and everyone.
Tammi supports a number of organizations and causes. Some of them I am aware of are teen moms, prison re-entry project, the epilepsy foundation, traumatic brain injury association, multiple sclerosis awareness, ARC, Birthline, and Anna Maries- victims of domestic abuse.
She has been a child foster care provider since 1997 and recognized in 2001. She did home daycare for numerous years specializing in special needs working with developmentally challenged children.
Volunteer work includes being girl scout volunteer, a past boyscout achievement coordinator as well as assistant leader. She's taken in numerous people in need as well. Both children and adults are always welcomed.
She also volunteers with toys for tots, caritas clothing volunteer, suicide prevention, and she's even helped 3 girls get their bronze and silver girl scout awards and traveled to NYC with 200 girls!!
To relieve stress, Tammi and her family go camping nearly every weekend where her and her husband dj all of the dances. They have a seasonal site and have been there for 15 years. She enjoys the outdoors and all it offers. She goes hunting and fishing and just spending time with family and friends.
Because of her busy lifestyle she tries to remain flexible. She almost always has a back up plan. She's well prepared and well organized. She tends to look at the bigger picture and tries to make it all work.
Tammi's beliefs in god give her strength to encourage not only her children but those she mentors. She encourages everyone to do their best and not take the short cuts. She empowers them to be friendly, helpful and strong. She says to trust in God, work hard, and appreciate life like its your last day. She enjoys making the difference in someones life. She's the kind of person who will look at you with tears in her eyes and ask how she can help you.
She has a multitude of experience dealing with children with physical, sexual and emotional abuse. She also has experience with chemical dependency, developmental disabilities and language delays.
Tammi and her husband adopted their oldest grandchild nearly 5 years ago. Now 6 years old, Tammi looks forward to being her troop leader in Daisys.
Tammi was brought up with Norwegian and Swedish cooking, Lutheran, and family ties with a strong belief. She feels there are no barriers in her family that prevent her her from helping someone in need. Culture, race, religion, she feels everyone has experienced some kind of cultural conflict. Diversity is all around and people have different beliefs.
She feels everyone needs to keep working on bridging the culture gap and being more tolerant of others.
Im still alive!
On one of the busiest days I've had in a long time I find myself again thinking I really need to blog if nothing more than for my own sanity. With the busy summer and avid iPhone users we decided to turn off our home Internet several months back. That being said, it definitely put a hold on my blog. Out of compassion to write I sit hammering this out on the ole trusty iPhone.
So many things have been happening in the past few months I don't even know where to start. I may actually go back and tell a few of our favorite adventures if I can ever get on an actual computer again. For now, I just wanted to reassure all my followers I'm still here and will do my best to keep up again. Even if that means one button at a time.
Love, peace and health to all!
So many things have been happening in the past few months I don't even know where to start. I may actually go back and tell a few of our favorite adventures if I can ever get on an actual computer again. For now, I just wanted to reassure all my followers I'm still here and will do my best to keep up again. Even if that means one button at a time.
Love, peace and health to all!
Some times health insurance has too much power.
We had two unexpected visitors tonight. My grand-daughters came to play. My day to sleep in was cut short when I received a early morning call with one of my daughters on the way to the hospital with a severe asthma attack. Turns out she has a pretty good case of bronchitis along with a bladder infection. After spending a greater part of my day trying to get her antibiotic my persistent approach eventually paid off. You have no idea what a triumph that actually was considering the insurance company has my daughter on restrictive care. Apparently, it's a burden for them that she has too many doctors treating her traumatic brain injury. I'll be sure we let the specialists know the insurance now knows more than they do. None the less, I did eventually accomplish the impossible and took the baby home with Gwama and papa for the night. Now if mommy will sleep maybe she can get better.
The next surprise was our little Emmy coming over to play. It seems like she's grown a foot since I last seen her. Mind you, this was maybe 2 weeks ago. It was a nice way to end a busy day and always a joy to see the kids.
Here they are playing babies.
The next surprise was our little Emmy coming over to play. It seems like she's grown a foot since I last seen her. Mind you, this was maybe 2 weeks ago. It was a nice way to end a busy day and always a joy to see the kids.
Here they are playing babies.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Set Expectations with Other Family Members With a Kinship Adoption
For most first time parents its not a question of your ability to raise your own child. However, what happens when you have a child at 17?
Many parents will complain of all the advise they receive as a new parent. Seldom are their rights taken from them by their own family without ever bein given a chance.
Knowing how to care for an infant was something that always came quite natural for my oldest daughter. In fact, she required very little help at home. The first couple weeks went smooth as she did all the cares of her newborn child. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case at just two weeks old when she started to take baby out into the public and around other family. Not everyone had as much faith in her and the baby's father as we did. At just a few weeks old both my daughter and her boyfriend, the baby's father, were already feeling helpless and overwhelmed.
When baby would cry and the young parents would try to comfort her, someone would take the child out of their arms. A time that should have been a time for bonding was being taken from them over and over again. It seemed whether it be feedings, naps or even changings, their place was being taken away. The two parents often came to us with frustration. Imagine someone else removing your child's clothes just so they could dress them with clothing they purchased? Nearly daily my daughter would come home crying feeling inadequate. As every first was occurring and holidays came and went the two parents soon became extremely agitated as they had no say. Even buying Christmas and Easter dresses were out of the question. Things like bringing your child to see Santa or the Easter Bunny for the first time. Would you still feel like you were the parent?
At just over one year both parents had all been broken of their abilities and made the toughest decision a parent can ever make.... They asked us to adopt. Our daughter, who still lived at home cried for weeks on end as she conceited to the ground work others had laid out for them. We again tried to reassure them and asked them to give it some time to truly make sure this is what they wanted. Yet time and time again they came back to us with the same question. After several months the 4 of us sought an attorney and finalized the adoption.
Over the past several years I have heard countless remarks from both families and friends questioning how they could remain together and just "give her away" or "hand her over"? Does anyone realize the love and thought process that actually goes into a decision like this? My daughter loved this child more than life itself. Yet they both wanted more for her. Something they just couldn't offer.
Years later, My daughter and her boyfriend are still together. They have been for almost 7 years now. They still know they made the right decision for them and for her.
Being a foster parent Ive cared for many children in my home. Many times I honestly wondered how some of them survived until help arrived. There are plenty of parents, not just teen parents, who can't even care for themselves. Some think their good parents, others just don't care. Some are abusive or neglectful. Others turn to drugs or alcohol. So why do so many people judge them for their decision? Too many just sit back and pretend everything is ok.
Continuing on...We, my husband and I, love this little girl so much. She is no longer our grandchild but our daughter. I couldn't love her more if I'd given birth to her myself. If we were to have adopted a stranger people wouldn't think twice about it. Yet, for some reason, people find it necessary to assume we were forced to adopt. For the record, if I could have I would have had 10 children and both my husband and I always wanted more.
Moving along... this is now our child! She has been for many years now. Please quit asking us if we need a break or if we feel stuck at home. I'm also pretty sure we don't need any ones parenting advice. I not only have a collage education in Human Services but we've raised 4 other grown children whom we're very proud of. Not only did I operate a daycare out of my home for many years but I was dually licensed with the foster care even then. My husband and I served as both Boy Scout and Girl Scout Leaders, attend church, and volunteer as much as possible. Between the two of us we clock over 75 hours of parenting classes a year. For anyone who questions our abilities or our parenting I would love to hear it. Before judging everyone else though my advice would be to take a look at your own shortcomings and parenting. Believe me none of us are perfect. What works for one parent may not for another. Just as sometimes you need to parent or care for different children with a different parenting style.
Wait, there's more to be said. Please do not call me Grandma or my husband Grandpa. Do not call us by our first names to our child. We are her parents and are her Mom and Dad. Yes, kinship adoptions do change the family dynamics! We have three other grandchildren who we love very much. We reserve Grandma and Papa for them. Do not call her birth parents by their first names or talk down about them to our daughter. Doing so hurts her feelings and could cause lifelong resent. I can't believe how many people will actually ask if my older daughter is still involved or sees her? Of course she is and why would people even ask!
Do not expect things will always remain the same. Things change. Lives change. We all live busy lives. Although we try very hard to keep her involved with all her family that's not always possible. She is a very busy little girl. We do allow her to see her birth fathers family but sometimes its hard. Often I feel as though they resent us and too often I feel my daughter and her boyfriend are the in between. Another reminder that not everyone will accept your role as parents. I often feel like I need to explain myself if they ask to see her and were busy. However, this is not visitation. There wasn't a divorce situation. It was an adoption. I need to remember I can only do so much and please so many people.
I hope continuing to share our story and all the ups and downs can put a perspective on kinship adoptions. With open communication they can be wonderful. However, I suggest making clear rules and boundaries right from the start so everyone knows what is expected. I wish we would have set those boundaries earlier on so we wouldn't be feeling stepped upon now.
Many parents will complain of all the advise they receive as a new parent. Seldom are their rights taken from them by their own family without ever bein given a chance.
Knowing how to care for an infant was something that always came quite natural for my oldest daughter. In fact, she required very little help at home. The first couple weeks went smooth as she did all the cares of her newborn child. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case at just two weeks old when she started to take baby out into the public and around other family. Not everyone had as much faith in her and the baby's father as we did. At just a few weeks old both my daughter and her boyfriend, the baby's father, were already feeling helpless and overwhelmed.
When baby would cry and the young parents would try to comfort her, someone would take the child out of their arms. A time that should have been a time for bonding was being taken from them over and over again. It seemed whether it be feedings, naps or even changings, their place was being taken away. The two parents often came to us with frustration. Imagine someone else removing your child's clothes just so they could dress them with clothing they purchased? Nearly daily my daughter would come home crying feeling inadequate. As every first was occurring and holidays came and went the two parents soon became extremely agitated as they had no say. Even buying Christmas and Easter dresses were out of the question. Things like bringing your child to see Santa or the Easter Bunny for the first time. Would you still feel like you were the parent?
At just over one year both parents had all been broken of their abilities and made the toughest decision a parent can ever make.... They asked us to adopt. Our daughter, who still lived at home cried for weeks on end as she conceited to the ground work others had laid out for them. We again tried to reassure them and asked them to give it some time to truly make sure this is what they wanted. Yet time and time again they came back to us with the same question. After several months the 4 of us sought an attorney and finalized the adoption.
Over the past several years I have heard countless remarks from both families and friends questioning how they could remain together and just "give her away" or "hand her over"? Does anyone realize the love and thought process that actually goes into a decision like this? My daughter loved this child more than life itself. Yet they both wanted more for her. Something they just couldn't offer.
Years later, My daughter and her boyfriend are still together. They have been for almost 7 years now. They still know they made the right decision for them and for her.
Being a foster parent Ive cared for many children in my home. Many times I honestly wondered how some of them survived until help arrived. There are plenty of parents, not just teen parents, who can't even care for themselves. Some think their good parents, others just don't care. Some are abusive or neglectful. Others turn to drugs or alcohol. So why do so many people judge them for their decision? Too many just sit back and pretend everything is ok.
Continuing on...We, my husband and I, love this little girl so much. She is no longer our grandchild but our daughter. I couldn't love her more if I'd given birth to her myself. If we were to have adopted a stranger people wouldn't think twice about it. Yet, for some reason, people find it necessary to assume we were forced to adopt. For the record, if I could have I would have had 10 children and both my husband and I always wanted more.
Moving along... this is now our child! She has been for many years now. Please quit asking us if we need a break or if we feel stuck at home. I'm also pretty sure we don't need any ones parenting advice. I not only have a collage education in Human Services but we've raised 4 other grown children whom we're very proud of. Not only did I operate a daycare out of my home for many years but I was dually licensed with the foster care even then. My husband and I served as both Boy Scout and Girl Scout Leaders, attend church, and volunteer as much as possible. Between the two of us we clock over 75 hours of parenting classes a year. For anyone who questions our abilities or our parenting I would love to hear it. Before judging everyone else though my advice would be to take a look at your own shortcomings and parenting. Believe me none of us are perfect. What works for one parent may not for another. Just as sometimes you need to parent or care for different children with a different parenting style.
Wait, there's more to be said. Please do not call me Grandma or my husband Grandpa. Do not call us by our first names to our child. We are her parents and are her Mom and Dad. Yes, kinship adoptions do change the family dynamics! We have three other grandchildren who we love very much. We reserve Grandma and Papa for them. Do not call her birth parents by their first names or talk down about them to our daughter. Doing so hurts her feelings and could cause lifelong resent. I can't believe how many people will actually ask if my older daughter is still involved or sees her? Of course she is and why would people even ask!
Do not expect things will always remain the same. Things change. Lives change. We all live busy lives. Although we try very hard to keep her involved with all her family that's not always possible. She is a very busy little girl. We do allow her to see her birth fathers family but sometimes its hard. Often I feel as though they resent us and too often I feel my daughter and her boyfriend are the in between. Another reminder that not everyone will accept your role as parents. I often feel like I need to explain myself if they ask to see her and were busy. However, this is not visitation. There wasn't a divorce situation. It was an adoption. I need to remember I can only do so much and please so many people.
I hope continuing to share our story and all the ups and downs can put a perspective on kinship adoptions. With open communication they can be wonderful. However, I suggest making clear rules and boundaries right from the start so everyone knows what is expected. I wish we would have set those boundaries earlier on so we wouldn't be feeling stepped upon now.
What Gives Anyone the Right to Discipline my Child?
I know many of us have been in the same predicament. Whether at someones house or a public place; somewhere at sometime we've all witnessed and a child is misbehaving. This is a very tricky and challenging quest for most. Often there's a fine line. Most of the time we bite our tongue and pray for the parent to step in and discipline their own child. On occasion, and I say this with extreme caution, I have had to ask a child not do do one thing or another. Most likely the child may have been in danger or put others in danger.
What do you do when other people try and discipline your child and your right there? Have you ever had another person spank your child? If so how did you handle it?
On the other side of the coin... When you try and discipline your child does another person interfere by undermining you?
I personally believe it is not any ones right to discipline my child or to yell at them when I am there. I do acknowledge that I may not always be available. In the extreme situations where Discipline be necessary and my presence is not available a simple time out may be warranted. However, hit my child and you will be dealing with mama bear.
What are your past experiences and feelings?
What do you do when other people try and discipline your child and your right there? Have you ever had another person spank your child? If so how did you handle it?
On the other side of the coin... When you try and discipline your child does another person interfere by undermining you?
I personally believe it is not any ones right to discipline my child or to yell at them when I am there. I do acknowledge that I may not always be available. In the extreme situations where Discipline be necessary and my presence is not available a simple time out may be warranted. However, hit my child and you will be dealing with mama bear.
What are your past experiences and feelings?
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Protect your Children from Predators
Is there anything more we can do to protect our children from predators?
Instead of just telling these children what not to do, we practice with them exactly what they should do. I ordered my copy today for just 3.95 shipping and am looking forward to it ariving.Emmy Winning DVD.
- Full-length, instructional program and no advertisements.
- NO CHARGE (except for shipping)
- Only 10,000 copies so act fast
http://www.safefromharmvideo.com/
P.S. After you watch the DVD, you may want to complete the 'Child I.D. Kit'. We are giving a FREE Child Identification Package with every copy of the DVD.
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